I moved in the right direction today. Complete sobriety, minus my last cig. I was only online for about an hour, got some reading done and spent quality time with my family. Most importantly I am going to bed early.

Thoreau always talks about the dawn as the best part of life. I think i know what he means. It is better to be waking to the world. That is, If you look at the world anew with ceaseless fascination, it will provide endless joy. Zen calls this approach "beginners mind." Give up your assumptions about how the world operates and let it reveal itself to you. There is plenty to listen to. I think Hiedegger has a word for this too. I can't remember. Basically though his idea entails an approach to the world akin to the way we would approach an artifact we discover without knowing its structure or purpose. When we approach things with awe, and let ourselves discover qualities of nature without prejudice, we also burrow deep into our nature.

This is where i hope to find happiness.